The story centres on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican "libre" wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a normal resident of a mutant X community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a "G"). There they meet a flamboyant pirate and earnest students of wizardry and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.